What did you lose?
"I've had some difficulties after I graduated high school with who I was and what my faith was. Like who I was in God and who I was as a a woman and a lot of different ideas about faith and spirituality and what it meant to be a Christian. It was just really difficult for a while trying to figure out if I was an atheist because I had a lot of anger at God. I was just going through the motions of going on mission trips and trying my best at having faith in God and being a good Christian. It sucked and I do feel a little like I lost the conviction that I had in a lot of ways, but I found something in learning about social justice and learning about God's justice. There's still a loss of almost innocence and faith that I used to have. I'm still trying to figure it out."